Lesson #3: Heroic parents respond with gratitude when their children are held accountable for their choices.
It’s not that they are happy about it. It’s that they know their children will be better off in the long run if they learn to deal with mistakes, problems and failures now when the stakes are relatively low.
In contrast, ordinary parents blame the school (or whatever/whomever) and aim to lessen the consequences their child would otherwise experience.
One of my favorite examples of this kind of extraordinary/heroic parenting came from an Acton dad recently. When we informed him that his son had cheated on tracking his points for his work, his response was brilliant. He said, “Good. Better to learn the consequences of lying now than later on his tax returns.”
Call to action: The next time your child comes home with a strike, honor code violation or low 360 score (Acton’s accountability processes,) take a deep breath and say to yourself, “Good. This is exactly what I was waiting for. An excellent learning moment.”